


Five Step Program

by kashewmoo



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-29
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 02:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kashewmoo/pseuds/kashewmoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playing matchmaker is Sengoku's favorite hobby. Little does he know that Minami and Higashikata are turning the tables on him, and he's now falling victim to his very own scheme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Step Program

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what Sengoku was trying to do - we saw right through his plan the very moment he tried to put it into action for what felt like the thousandth time. But what made this particular situation hilarious was that in his grand attempts to play matchmaker, he himself fell victim to the very thing he was trying to execute.  
  
But I should probably start from the beginning.  
  
The “plan” was a five step process:   
  
1.) Give a ridiculous nickname to form solidarity (“pairing”) between the targets.  
  
2.) Schedule convenient, “coincidental” meet-ups between the targets who just so happen to be in the same place at the same time.  
  
3.) Conveniently “forget” he had prior plans, and cancel the day of. Or, if not cancel, have a reason as to why he couldn’t take part in the planned activities.  
  
4.) Make an attempt to intervene, and explain why he was doing what he was doing... without giving the real (read: obvious) reason, of course.  
  
5.) Rinse and repeat. Simple as that.  
  
  
  
**Step One. Ridiculous nicknames.**  
  
Sengoku gave us the nickname “Jimmies” while we were still in middle school. Both Minami and I were not, by far, the flashiest members of the Yamabuki tennis club, nor did we stand out particularly well next to people like Sengoku and Akutsu who people were naturally drawn toward. We were a strong doubles pair, however - one of the strongest on the circuit, really - and hence Sengoku’s reasoning behind coming up with the nickname in the first place.  
  
“It’ll be memorable,” he reasoned. “Now people will be able to remember who you are - like Oishi and Kikumaru with all that silly Golden Pair stuff.”   
  
Minami hadn’t seemed as convinced - the skepticism was evident in his normally dry, sarcastic tone. “And so you name us ‘jimi?’”  
  
“Isn’t it cute?” Sengoku wore that same charming, lady-killing smile that he so often turned to the pretty girls of our year who asked him out on dates. It never worked on Minami.   
  
“No.”  
  
The first step was executed before our very eyes without Sengoku even realizing what was happening.  
  
“‘Tensai-kun?’ Really?” Minami side-eyed Sengoku, the Gamecube controller held loosely in his hands as the pause screen of  _Super Smash Bros: Brawl_  dimmed the current action on the screen - Captain Falcon (one of Minami’s characters of choice) Falcon-punching poor Jigglypuff out of the arena. Sengoku should’ve known better than to pick arguably the weakest possible character against Minami and I.   
  
I couldn’t resist also making comment. “Where did that come from?”  
  
The redhead pulled his attention away from the TV, his expression clearly showing that he was displeased by the demise of Jigglypuff. His loss. “You’ve seen him play - how when he wins a point, he makes comment along the lines of, ‘aren’t I genius?’” Sengoku laughed, putting his own controller down, and stretching out his legs in front of him. “We’ve been talking a lot lately - he’s a cool guy.”  
  
Minami and I exchanged a glance.   
  
“...What?” Sengoku looked at both of us as though we were talking crazy talk. “Is that weird?”  
  
  
  
**Step Two. In the same place, at the same time.**  
  
Our gaming nights became a weekly tradition not long after all three of us became friends, and we started hanging out with one another more often. The same tradition had carried on through middle school and high school, even if the means by which we carried out the tradition shifted with age.  
  
It started off as a rotation between our houses. We all had the past and current generation gaming consoles, and a wide selection of both multi and single player games that could easily keep us awake all hours of the night while loaded up on cheap energy drinks and large pizzas delivered from Pizza Hut. Eventually, our gaming nights became on location at Minami’s work - an arcade that had quickly shot him up to manager as he displayed excellent customer service and challenge to the regulars who frequented the arcade for late night gaming every weekend.  
  
“Why don’t we host a DDR tournament?” Sengoku pondered out loud, cracking open the bottle of soda purchased from the vending machines situated near the entrance of the arcade. “I think it’d be fun.”  
  
Minami made a face. “Don’t get me wrong, DDR is great and all, but that’s far too much activity for a Friday night. I vote Tekken Tag.”  
  
Yamabuki’s ace turned his wide doe eyes to me. “How about you, Hi-chan?”  
  
I laughed. He shouldn’t have even bothered to ask the question - I also enjoyed DDR, but there was nothing like playing Tekken Tag with my doubles partner. “Sorry, Sengoku. My vote’s with Kentarou.”  
  
My phone buzzed with a text message late one night while I was in the process of tucking my sister into bed. The obnoxious ringtone made it very obvious who it was coming from - Sengoku liked picking what sound our phones made when he either called us or sent a message. I wondered what he wanted at that time.  
  
Once a “good night” was exchanged with my sister (although not without a teasing remark as to why someone was texting me so late at night), I wandered back to my bedroom, and took my phone out of my pocket to read the message.  
  
_I’ve scheduled a doubles match for both of you to play against Tensai-kun and his doubles partner on Saturday. （。´・ω・｀）ノ Don’t be late~ ♥_  
  
I didn’t waste much time in calling Minami - nor did he, evidently, as it took him all of one ring to pick up the phone. “Did you see-”  
  
“Kiyosumi’s text? Yes.”  
  
I smiled a little. We were no Golden Pair by any means, but that didn’t change the fact Minami and I were still often on the same wave length - especially when it had to do with the third part of our “tripod.” Sengoku was a relentless human being at the best of times. “Do you think he’s trying to set us up again?”  
  
Minami laughed easily over the background sound of  _Little Big Planet_ , and a female voice making comment about her Sackboy. Ever since he introduced his girlfriend to the game when they first started dating, she tried to sneak it into the PS3 any time she was over at his house. Amazingly, she had platinumed the game faster than I ever would have. He responded something to her before answering me. “Oh, probably. He has nothing better to do with his time.”  
  
“When he’s not with Marui, you mean,” I added, also with a laugh. Sengoku and the self-proclaimed genius of Rikkaidai really had been spending a lot of time with one another - that was probably partially the reason behind scheduling the doubles match in the first place. Not that I minded - I wouldn’t ever turn down the opportunity to play a game - but it did seem rather suspicious.  
  
“Let’s foil his plan.” Minami’s voice was completely deadpan, though his attention was drawing away - I could hear shuffling on the other line. She must have been trying to get him off the phone, now.  
  
“Is this before or after you tell him you’re dating his sister? That might foil his plan in and of itself.”  
  
  
  
**Step Three. Standing them up.**  
  
Subtlety was not Sengoku’s forte by any means.  
  
His idea of standing us up was to call us in the morning of the day we were supposed to have plans, and use the grand excuse of family obligations to get out of it. Granted, we never cared if he did - if anything, the evenings would always be a little more peaceful if Sengoku wasn’t there as he tended to be the one who made the most noise. But it was when he started talking about all of the plans he made with his sister when Minami knew for a fact that she was working that evening, that made his excuses even more hilarious. It at least would have been more believable if he said that he was going to visit her at work, but who would visit a sushi restaurant unless they were looking to have a bite to eat?  
  
Other attempts of his were equally as hilarious, of course.  
  
“Look at all the cute girls in bikinis,” Sengoku all but squealed as Minami and I laid out the large blanket my parents had lent us for the trip to the beach. I then took care of the umbrella to create something resembling shade as Minami got out the sunscreen. We had been planning the outing for weeks - we had been banking on the weather remaining consistently hot enough to be given the chance to take a swim in the ocean.  
  
“Think about something else for a moment and help out, dumbass.” Minami tossed the bottle toward the redhead who very nearly let the bottle drop to the sand. He had always been a master of patience, and he was incredibly fond of Sengoku - but you would never know it by the way he addressed his best friend at the best of times.  
  
The set up was barely complete by the time Sengoku was running off, this time for real as he shot over his shoulder that he was going to recruit some cute girls to play beach volleyball with, and to not worry about him - they could spend that time together instead!  
  
We decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.  
  
It all started with a phone call to Marui’s doubles partner. He was more than happy to play along with our plan - in fact, he made the suggestion that I step in as his doubles partner to allow Sengoku and Marui to play together on the same side of the court. Minami, of course, was going to be mysteriously absent due to an obligation that he didn’t know about until an hour before the match, and only have the opportunity to tell me before he was whisked off for the afternoon.  
  
In reality, he was going to be sitting on his ass playing a video game, but that wasn’t important.  
  
“Looks like you’re going to have to join the match after all, Kiyosumi,” I said, looking apologetic. “Why don’t you partner with Marui? Kuwahara and I could play with one another to make it fair; then that way we’re all playing with someone we’re not used to playing with.” The arrangement wouldn’t necessarily be “fair,” but I didn’t think Sengoku would question it. I was usually the voice of reason.  
  
“I’d be happy with that,” Kuwahara added with a nod to his doubles partner. All things considered, he seemed to be an easy going person - he would have fit in well at Yamabuki. In response, Marui blew a bubble, resting the head of his racquet on his shoulder.  
  
“He~eh. In that case, looks like it’s you and me, Tensai-kun.” Ever the easy target, Sengoku grinned, flashing a peace sign of which Marui returned.  
  
Kuwahara and I exchanged small, amused smiles, and both sides got ready for the match.  
  
In the end, the match turned out far more interesting than I would have even expected having been the one to orchestrate it all. An extreme offense doubles pairing going up against two extreme defensive players... a serious case of giving and taking in which one side would get a point, and the other side would win the point back. Before we knew it we were barely keeping score straight, and Sengoku and Marui were bringing out all their flashy moves more out of amusement than anything else. Similarly, Kuwahara and I played a very simple game of tennis, if not a bit more competitive than I was really used to, even if still in good fun. It was near impossible to get anything past us.  
  
It was worth it to see the happy smile on Sengoku’s face, and the fondness that was written all over Marui’s. My suspicions were correct, and that’s when I knew the fourth step could be executed.   
  
  
  
**Step Four. Intervention is necessary.**  
  
This was about the time when Sengoku would be admitting defeat, and would be trying to justify his actions as to why he copped out on us. Usually they were genuine - that he wanted to be able to give us some time to spend together since we were so often hanging out together as a group, or that he just wanted to take it easy - but sometimes he would just brush it off as though it were no big deal.   
  
_“Besides, you had fun, right? Right? So it didn’t matter that I wasn’t there. What did you guys do, anyway?”_  
  
In this case, we needed to sit down and have a talk with him, instead.  
  
We had a list of things to present. When Minami and I sat down together to really think about all that Sengoku and Marui had been up to, we couldn’t stop coming up with different things Sengoku had shared with us over the past few weeks. It was almost comical at this point that Sengoku had yet to realize what we were up to - “lucky” Sengoku, indeed.  
  
Minami was on a roll, holding up his hand and checking off each line of our proverbial list.  
  
“You went to the Rikkai school festival.”  
  
“He invited me! They were doing a butler cafe, and he thought it’d be hilarious if I were there to be served by Sanada.”  
  
I raised an eyebrow, but Minami continued on. “How about how Marui got tickets to go see Orange Range in concert, and thought to invite you over anyone else?” That was true - Sengoku had never expressed interest in the band before, and yet he very happily accepted the invitation as soon as it was extended to him. Since then, Sengoku’s iPod was filled with nothing but Orange Range. Normally he was the sort who listened to pop music and bad rap.  
  
Sengoku opened his mouth to protest, but I couldn’t help but join in, too. “There have been coffee dates, arcade dates, bowling dates...”  
  
The real kicker had been when they attempted an outing out to the beach, again. As had become common, Sengoku had extended an invitation to both Marui and Kuwahara to join them, and the doubles pair from Rikkai were all too happy to accept. We kept Kuwahara amused by engaging in typical beach activities while the two redheads sat there practically snuggled up together by the water shore, chatting away as though they had no other social obligations. Unlike the time before when we were barely able to keep Sengoku from restlessly bouncing around cute girl after cute girl, to keep his attention span on anything other than the cute designs that patterned their tiny bikinis, he was all too interested in drawing patterns on Marui’s back as though the rest of us weren’t able to see them.  
  
“Bu-”  
  
“I’d say that you’re dating,” Minami finished, folding his arms over his chest, and leaning back in the chair. Sengoku looked at him like a fish out of water, silence stretching out between them. I shifted awkwardly - I hadn’t quite expected Minami to say it quite so bluntly. Then again, subtlety had never really been his forte, either.  
  
Finally, the redhead spoke. “That’s not really what’s important, anyway. The real topic of discussion is supposed to be about you.” He glanced between both of us with a hopeful expression - an expression that very clearly said that he hoped he was finally successful this time. It was almost too bad that he was about to have his bubble burst further.   
  
Now it was Minami’s turn to look a little uncomfortable. “Actually... about that.” He glanced at me almost as though he were seeking help, and I just smiled supportively. I was a good partner like that - making him take the fall by himself and dealing with the inevitable shock from their ace. “Masami and I aren’t together, Kiyosumi.”  
  
Sengoku’s face fell, and I almost felt bad for him. Almost. But that didn’t stop me from bracing myself with the knowledge of what was coming in its place.  
  
“I’m dating your sister.”  
  
I was pretty sure anyone in a fifty kilometer radius could hear Sengoku’s yell of surprise.   
  
  
  
**Step Five. Profit.**  
  
Normally this point was when Sengoku gave up, and decided that he was just going to have to attempt the plan at some other time. It was a never ending cycle: we didn’t fall for his tricks, and he would not admit defeat. We couldn’t help but wonder what it was about us that had him so hell bent on playing matchmaker, but I knew better than to question Sengoku’s logic.  
  
“So... what are your guys’ plans for this weekend?”  
  
I should’ve expected Sengoku to call me after Minami evidently hung up on him. From the sounds of things, Sengoku just wanted to talk about his grand adventure visiting Rikkaidai to watch Marui practice (when he should have been at our practice, no less - that was probably why Minami hung up on him). Apparently everything had been going really well until Rikkaidai’s vice captain came up to him demanding to know why he was loitering around their campus.  
  
Other than what I had gleaned myself when crossing paths with him at the tournament gatherings for captains and vice-captains, I had heard a lot about Sanada Genichirou. Every reenactment of his character resembled something like an angry mama bear on the prowl after someone touched her baby cubs - Sengoku’s was no better.  
  
I found myself idly doodling as Sengoku rambled on and on about how he went over to Marui’s house for dinner with his family, and how both of Marui’s little brothers were adorable and looked just like him. They apparently took dessert to Marui’s bedroom to share, and while Sengoku coyly skirted around the topic of what they were actually up to, I knew that it was probably all in all a very successful night.  
  
He could still at least save me the details.  
  
“Hey, Kiyosumi?”  
  
“...Yeah?”  
  
I smiled a little to myself. “Why don’t you tell your sister about all of this?”  
  
“...Why?”  
  
My smile widened. “That way she’ll turn around and tell Kentarou, and then he can turn around and tell you about all the fun details of his own relationship that I’m sure you’re so eager to hear.”  
  
I had more to say, but instead all I could hear was the dial tone - Sengoku obviously didn’t see the humor in my suggestion. Suited me just fine, anyway.


End file.
